I have heard lately different things about "Trans on Trans lovin'." Most of which has been negative. Whether it be a transman with a transwoman, 2 transmen or 2 transwomen. I have heard some trans people saying it's "disgusting" or "too much" and all sorts of stuff. Why is it "disgusting"? I'm confused. I personally don't care who anyone has sex with as long as everyone involved is old enough to consent and no animals were harmed in the process!
I think part of it has to do with that old saying "Misery loves company" People in unhealthy relationships or who are single would rather make fun of or put down someone else's relationship than just move the hell on with their lives. Why do you care?!
Also I hear assumptions about the how the trans couples have sex. Someone described 2 transwomen having sex as "sword fighting". What if both women are pre-op but highly dysphoric? What if both are post op? What if one is pre op and one is post op? You can't assume how they have sex. Same thing with a transman and transwoman. Some transwomen want to be tops, many DO NOT and are VERY dysphoric about their genitalia and dont want to be touched certain places. I remember being at a conference and a transguy introduced his girlfriend who happened to be a transwoman. When they walked away people started making jokes about how he must like getting poked and how if he wants dick just fuck a dude. Little did they know the transwoman was post op and the transguy was very dyphoric so his girlfriend has never seen him naked much less he be in the position for her to "POKE" him.
I also have more and more friends and associates of mine telling me about them being "down low" trans brothers. Basically that means that they are transmen who like men whether it be trans or cismen (Most like other transguys) but they don't tell people really because they are concerned about ridiculed.
First off you don't have to justify to anyone EVER who you are dating, sleeping with, cuddling with, swinging with or whatever else. They also have no right to ask you why you are with that person. GET OVER IT! If you are in a situation where someone is questioning what you are doing and who you are with tell them, MIND YOUR DAMN BUSINESS!
Then people wonder why the "community" seems so divided. If two people are happy- leave them be!
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Great blog! Another thing I've found is that a lot of guys are not comfortable with their [own] sexuality. In turn, they criticize other guys for their choices. Sometimes it's as deep as childhood trauma but, it can be as shallow as them wanting exactly what it is they criticize.
ReplyDeleteRyan- I think you hit the nail on the head. If someone is secure in themselves they would not care what others are doing because it isn't affecting them. It is like school bullies who make fun of the "flamboyant" kid and 20 years later those same bullies are found in the back room of some club on their knees in front of some guy!
ReplyDeleteThanks for blogging about this. I think it is so ridiculous to worry about what someone is doing in there own bed. It's hard enough in this world to find the right person you can gel with, get along with and enjoy. I personally don't care. I just want someone first of all who will respect and love me for me. I feel that anyone who finds another person they can be happy with that's what's important.
ReplyDeleteI know trans guys who feel tortured for loving a transwoman or another transguy. I tell them ig that makes you happy then go for it!
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