I am having one of those days where I want to just kick someone! I have helped MANY guys when it comes to transition stuff. I have helped many people in general but I put way more effort and time to helping men in the "community". But I am really getting sick of guys talking crap! Saying "Cris doesn't help ANYONE!" Have you lost your damn mind!
For example I have helped:
-At last count as of this week 50+ guys get top surgery paid for by insurance.
-I have helped guys get hystos while listed as male with insurance.
-I have helped HUNDREDS of guys start T by either referring them to either Therapists, endocrinologist or primary care docs so their process could move along.
-I even started a Damn TRANS HEALTH CLINIC for the community!I see my doc privately for my I don't need a Transclinic but I started one with a respectful MH provider, respectful Doctors and referrals for anything related to transition.
-I even have taken money out of my own pocket to help donate to people with their transition. (I am myself a donation away from needing a fund to help me).
I don't want a prize, I DON'T EVEN CHARGE (and I could cause I have the credentials to do so), I don't even expect a thank you (though it would be nice) BUT WHY TALK CRAP ABOUT ME! Why smile in my face when you want something then talk about me like a dog?! Are you freakin' serious!
That is just really going too far. I jeopardize my being "stealth" to help guys because they are in need then some ungrateful punks want to sit around and talk about me?!
Now if I get mad and stop helping everyone then I will be another "Mean post-transition man that went stealth"! Well people need to start looking about what part they have to play in that.
Why should I continue to help you when you bite the hand that feeds you?!
Then there are the other set of guys who are like "hey prettyboicris I want us to be the bestest friends EVER!" but they only remember my number when they want something. Well SCREW YOU TOO! If this keeps up I'm really gonna just stop. If someone has wrong info, I will look the otherway. If some needs help navigating insurance I will keep my mouth shut. I may bow out and leave the clinic to it's own devices and when it goes down the toilet like other places have not give a rats butt! I will stop writing letters for surgery scholarships, I will stop going to court to help with name changes cause people are nervous, I will stop answering calls to ask questions, I will stop running forums and just stop it ALL.
I so freaking serious I am so pissed right now you don't even know the half. Just as nice as I am I can be a cold and vindictive bastard! I don't want to be like that but if you keep adding fuel to an already burning fire it is already a matter of time til someone gets burned!
I am wasting time helping people and I am delaying my own process I could have BEEN had my own hysto and lower surgery (at least first stage) by now!
I am interested in your comments on this one. Talk to me people!
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Cris Cris Cris, I DONT know why you even bother wasting your time with these lame brains. You have a beautiful daughter and wife that you news to exert this negative energy into. These guys are pumping all this shit bc they have roadblocks on their life. Tough titty and too bad so sad for them. I say stop giving out info to these cats that you don't know! I honestly haven't heard anyone saying things to that nature because the conversation would have stopped right there. I personally know what your capable of doing and believe that you are way to cool of a dude to be fucking with these dickheads. Fuck em and leave them in the dust. I don't blame you for just wanting to be stealth and say to he'll with everyone else. Do what's in your heart and protect yourself first and foremost bc I'm sure when you want to talk and need something, those same fools aren't anywhere to be found!!!!! That's my fucking two cents. Trust me I feel for you!!! Hit me up whenever you see I'm on!!!!
ReplyDeleteHey man. I'm definitly hearing where you are coming from, and I'm sure I have an inkling of an idea what may have been at least a part of this.
ReplyDeletePeople are all about doing them these days. It's all about money, greed and selfishness. It's sad but true. You have the knowledge, the power and the connections to do things for the trans community that could be better than SCC, GO, and the Philly Health Conference TOGETHER! I dont know why people fuck with you.
And if we're on the same page, bounce. If you aren't going to be respected and appreciated, you dont need to waste your time.
Head up bro.
I'm holding my head up and I am making sure that I put my foot down. I don't have time to waste or time to be used by others when I have to focus on me. I have helped guys with all sorts of stuff and I have been delaying my own transition stuff mainly my hysto and lower surgery! NO MORE! Time to be selfish!
ReplyDeleteThere comes a time when you have to put your foot down and sometimes you need a break. Take a break, take care of you. Step back for a while and if you feel it later, come back. In the mean time some of us other guys who you have helped Namely Me, can step up and help out. I hope you don't completely disappear, but you gotta take care of you and your family.
ReplyDeleteI got ya back bro.
Aaron- I have stepped back and have been exercising my right to say no when I see fit. It weird doing it for the first time but it is growing on me.
ReplyDeletei understand how you feel man... i help people when i can and am happy to tell people what i know, but sometimes w/all the ignorance and stuff going on, i just want to say, f-it and just stay to myself...it's safer that way... i can imagine how tiring and frustrating it may be for you when you are doing way more than i do in regards to helping people, especially putting their issues before doing things for yourself... i think that you and all the other guys who are really there to help and are genuine are a blessing for those in the community who appreciate it.
ReplyDeletesometimes, you have to do what's best for Cris... and only you know that... the unappreciative ones will realize your worth once you are gone.
peace.