If I won the lottery ...

Sometimes I sit back and think about what I would do if I won the lottery. I would do the "typical" stuff such as pay off debt, buy a house, secure a future for my family to make sure we could live comfortably off the winnings. The usual stuff.

Then I think about what I would REALLY want to do with some of the money. That would be have lower surgery. I have been wishing more and more lately that I hit the jackpot so that my lower surgery options would be limitless! Well not limitless but obviously I wouldn't have to worry about money the same way when it comes to having lower surgery.

As it stands now I plan to use insurance which limits the surgeons I can go to and procedures I can have. Since my first choice Phalloplasty is the MLD technique which isn't offered here in the US yet then I can't get that. The forearm phallo though I like it for many reasons is not for me. One of them being I have poor nerves in my left arm and tattoos on it. My right arm is my dominant arm which I would rather not have a scar on. I am 95% sure I will NOT get a forearm phallo but you never know 5% is still there. With that said then my other phallo options are abdominal flap, groin/ hip flap.
My insurance has a procedure cap so I would have to pay for part of my phallo which I would have no problem with because paying a small percentage is better than paying 100% out of pocket. Another thought is that I COULD get a meta FOR NOW (since my ultimate goal will always be a phallo) and then later get my MLD Phallo when I can save the money. Another option is if I get the meta now it will alleviate enough of my dysphoria for me to be able to wait longer to see what other donor sites can be used or can use some regenerative cell techniques to grow to the length I prefer.
So as it stands I am more likely to get a meta. Another reason for this would be I could get it in 1 surgery, 2 at the most depending on if I get my testicular implants done at the same time or separate. Only doing 1 or 2 surgeries would be so much easier to manage with me taking time off of work and having my wife taking time off of work.
BUT
IF I WON THE LOTTERY surgery would be my oyster in that case I would be able to travel and visit more teams and consult with them and see what I can get. I would probably end up going to Serbia for the MLD or if I opt to stay in the US go to Meltzer. Either way I would have options. I would probably go a completely different direction and travel first to see what other things are being done in different parts of the world when it comes to lower surgery. Who knows.

One of my friends recently made fun of me and pretty much called me out for " going back and forth".

Basically he said that he can tell I really want a Phallo but I am "settling for a meta" because it will be easier!
I was mad at him for saying that because it's true. I need to work through that block that I have regarding my meta and phallo decision process so that I am not "settling" as he says.

All I know is if I won the lottery my lower surgery process would be so much easier