Lower surgery most recent thoughts and ramblings

I have been thinking over all my surgical options. A few weeks back I blogged about the list of 8 surgeons who are covered by my insurance. Weeks ago before seeing this list I submitted my insurance for a surgeon who does meta because I was pretty set on NOT waiting til the MLD in serbia for lower surgery. I figured that I wanted NEEDED lower surgery ASAP so that I wouldn't kill someone. I figured meta would work. As I researched more phallo options stood out to me and I was finally finding more guys who had success with different techniques here in the US that I often thought was not possible due to the myths.

Let the ranting begin

Now I have one surgeon locally willing to start my phallo ASAP since he takes my insurance and I already consulted with him. He requires his patients to have hysto first which I just had so as early as 6 weeks from hysto he starts planning the stages. I was nervous about sensation because he has experience doing Forearm which I really wanted to stay away from for several reasons. The reasons being 1)I have tattoos on my non- dominant arm which is usually the one they use 2) I didn't want a visible scar 3) The nerves in my non- dominant arm are all weird anyway and I have funny tactile sensation issues so the benefits of the forearm phallo probably wouldn't be there for me anyway so why should I risk it? 4) My arms are extremely hairy and I am not interested in electrolysis.

He offers groin/HIP flap and abdominal. I decided that I would stay away from abdominal. I am leaning more towards a HIP/Groin flap phallo if I get phallo done in the US.

I REALLY WANT AND MLD phallo because it appeals to me on several levels. Sensation, scar placement and lack of the need for electrolysis BUT to be honest after doing my research all of these things are possible for me to get here in the US with the Groin/HIP flap depending on what I discuss with my surgeon MY needs can be met on home soil.

The thing is that if I get a phallo that's really it surgeries done and I really can't benefit from a lot of the new technology/techniques that are up and coming.

I have been pumping and seeing good results with that. I recently been talking to other friends who religiously pump and seeing the Meltzer presentation again with the guys who has gotten a good amount of size from pumping is rather inspiring. Also with the strattice stuff going on and the regenerative cell stuff being kicked around it makes me feel like I am young enough to benefit from other advances in lower surgery in the future even 10 or 20 years from now. I am married to so my needs are different than if I were single and on the prowl I think. All of that makes me consider getting a meta because it will alleviate immediate disphoria and if I am still having a hard time coping even with pumping then I can get a phallo later or benefit from the strattice stuff happening. Meta would allow me to have less surgeries (if all things go well) and still allow me to get more size and whatever else I feel I need in the future if I need something. Meta leaves the road ahead open while phallo doesn't it is the period at the end of the sentence for me it feels. I want my medical transition to be over with so that seems appealing as well ending the surgical part of this journey.

I also have a daughter and I want to be done with transition related surgeries before she is old enough to ask questions. She is only 6 months old so I think I have a good 5 years to work it all out on my own time line.

As I stated in the beginning insurance paperwork has been submitted for a meta but that doesn't mean that is the final answer. Insurance already replied requesting more documentation which was submitted so we shall see where things go with that. In the mean time I have more time to "figure it all out" which I have.

I have a clear plan A and plan B in my head with a possible plan C.

I will add that Dr. Perovic passing away affected my initial plan I had set 2 weeks ago. Some other things happening in the US healthcare system and with guys that I know has left me reworking my plans as well with more optimism. It all doesn't seems so stiffling anymore.

The hysto in itself alleviated much dysphoria and pain. I am in less pain 5 days post hysto than I was prior to my hysto (I had endometriosis and chronic pain). I feel that being in less pain makes things less stressful and allows me to think more clearly.
This rant though all over and confusing honestly has me feeling very clear headed. Funny how my mind works.

Seems like I made my decision? Maybe but life happens so only time will tell the end result.