The wait continues

I am still waiting for the surgeon to call insurance so they can make the decision.
I honestly understand the situation why the surgeon hasnt called yet. (Im not going into it all issus here). One of the issues is that the surgeon is in a different time zone and how they structure their day makes this conversation more challenging to have throughout the day. I am assured it will happen soon.

That is all for now on the Lower surgery front.

Quick - 5/6/10 update

Lower surgery and Insurance

I called the insurance office today and surgeon hadn't called yet. I called the surgeon's office and surgeon was in surgery BUT surgeon had it in top of the desk to do first thing when out of surgery.

I will follow up tomorrow.


Education

I got all the financial aid stuff finished for my Master's progam *Does happy dance".
I was able to accept my financial Aid package and now I am OFFICIALLY registered for my first course which starts soon. I already got a head start on the reading!


Conferences

It looks like I will be going to the Empire Conference, Philly Trans Health Conference AND SCC this year.
If any of you readers are going to be at any of these let me know so we can meet up and hang out!


I hope I can post tomorrow about my insurance response and hopefully I will be celebrating having booked a surgery date!

Productive day!

Education/Loans

I resolved a mistake that was made with an old student loan I had. The loan people were very apologetic since it was their error and they let my MBA program know that the error was corrected. I also was able to successfully get everything in for my Financial Aid for my Master's program so soon everything should be set!


Conferences

I am going to the Empire conference in Albany and The Philly Trans Health conference . So I had to finalize my arrangements related to both of those. I also had to start thinking about whether or not I would be going to SCC this year and submitted the appropriate stuff for that. Chances are I will be there too. Those are my 3 conferences for the year. I may try and squeeze in Gender Odyssey BUT that all depends on surgery stuff.

Lower surgery

I called my insurance today since I was told the surgeon would call yesterday for the "peer to peer medical review". My insurance said that the surgeon's office and them have a conference time set for Tomorrow! *Does happy dance* When I asked the guy how long it takes for them to make the decision he stated "peer to peer medical review" is fastest and the decision will be given to the surgeon at the end of the conversation and within 7 days both the surgeon's office and myself will get the decision officially in writing for our records.
So tomorrow is a BIG day!


I Got mail... AGAIN!

I opened the mailbox and once again there was a letter from my insurance. I took a deep breath and opened it. It was a statement regarding my hysto saying that they paid the anesthesiologist. That made me smile because though insurance can say whatever they want when it comes to paying stuff it is never final until they actually PAY!

I got mail... or so I thought!

I came home and opened the mail box to see a letter from my insurance company. I got nervous because the surgeon was to call today so if this was regarding surgery that wouldn't necessarily be so good.

My heart is racing my friend and I are texting. He told me to see what it was.

It's some damn letter about some BS that has nothing to do with me. JUNK MAIL!

Ugh! I almost had a heart attack for NOTHING!

Being a married man

I am happy to now have another friend who is a married man who I can relate to who can relate to me as well.

My single friends NEVER understand and my friends in relationships kind of understand but not really.

I was starting to feel like maybe it is just me. It took me hanging with and talking to another guy who is a newly wed to understand what I deal with as a married man.

Navigating married life, socialization and all things take balance and it is good to have someone around who I can explain it too and they get it without over explaining. It is also good to not be the only "dead man walking" "married guy" in the bunch.

Saturday, May 1st recap- Lots of fun!

Yesterday was an AWESOME DAY!

I hung out with about 20 awesome people. There was soccer, boxing, good conversation and a ton of laughs in the park.

I got to test out my new boxing gloves and the headgear. The boxing gloves were awesome but the headgear... not so much. I think that had to do with the fact that we were boxing in 80+ degree weather in the park!

Other than that it was good.

Afterwards some of us hung out and I really felt good bonding with one dude in particular. We have known each other casually for about 5 years yet we talked more in this one night than we have in all those years. I came to realize that we had more in common than we thought!
It was really nice and talking to him made me realize a lot. THANKS MAN!

I had a good time TRYING to play pool, eating food and all that extra stuff afterwards.

My maleness is adapting

I always say myself as a man pre-Transition. When I began to seek out medical transition I had a vague view of what Kind of man I would be in the world. I was just happy to finally be seen in the world as a man.

Now that I am seen 100% as the man I knew myself to be life feels new and a little weird. I am a man yet sometimes I feel like a lost boy.
I am very mature. I have my own Non-profit, my own home, a wife and child yet sometimes I feel like a boy trying to find his way in the world. Part of it I feel has to do with the fact that I never really had a childhood muchless a boyhood. Sometimes I feel that lack of childhood has helped me get to where I am. Independent, determined and focused. I feel wise beyond my years yet lost at times.

I have been struggling with this lately especially due to the fact that as I near my lower surgery which will feel like the major closing of a chapter in my life (transitioning) I also feel a weight lifting.

I have really been reflecting alot on life and I am focusing a lot more on the Quality of the relationships I have over the quantity.

I felt so happy to be able to be out of my old body and more comfortable relating to people that I was willing to befriend everyone. I am learning not all people deserve my friendship. Not all people are good friends.

I have been hanging out more and more with people I know and am getting closer with some people while moving away from others.

Just because we know the same people, both have transition histories and or like each other does not a friendship make!

I am a habitual people pleaser. I always want to see people happy and having a good time even if I have to sacrifice myself to do so. That is changing. I feel stronger and more confident saying "NO" and moving in a different direction from the crowd.

I used to fear going back to being alone and isolated but I know I will never be alone or isolated. I need to let that fear go.

I feel that my maleness has more direction and that I am in my teenager year a little now but realizing where I want to be and where I am going. I am focusing my energy on how to get there.

As a man it is time for me to put away childish ways and move forward. I am young but life is too short.

I feel like my maleness is adapting and that is okay!