I found myself practicing "whipping it out" to urinate. I am currently large enough pre-op to pull my penis through the opening of my underwear and pants. Due to the darn ligament though when I get to my parts I get nervous about the zipper being too close to my pens since my junk does sit low. I am really looking forward to see how much length I get post-op and to urinate through my neo-phallus for the first time. I pee standing up but have to use an STP or drop my pants to my knees. I just want to go to the urinal and whip it out. Take care of my business and go without worrying about fumbling with an STP. I am really excited.
It feels weird doing this but practice makes perfect I guess. I am also figuring out how to position my hands for the most comfort and to avoid the zipper.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Who are my real friends?
I am starting to see who legitimately has my back and who doesn't. The guys who don't have my back some of them are still nice guys and I legitimately like them but not everyone is dependable. Not everyone makes a good friend. Some guys are good drinking buddies but I don't drink so that kind of friendship will fade fast! There are other guys who are good sports buddies. From April til August those guys will be my main amigos! There are also those guys who I can sit and talk with about life! We can be honest and share with each other without feeling judged.
I also find myself building stronger bonds with guys online through my lower surgery journey. I feel like talking to guys who "get it" is awesome. My friends who don't want lower surgery still support me are cool BUT they don't get it so somethings I would want to discuss with them would be out of place I feel.
I really am starting to see who my real friends are. I am also trying to get out of the habit of considering everyone friends just cause we talk or know the same people. I am getting comfortable with calling people my associate or a cool guy I know. There is nothing wrong with that I feel it's real. Some associates have now become friends and some friends have become associates that is part of life.
The thing that does bother me is when people pretend to be my friend or like me to my face (which is usually associated with them trying to get a favor out of me) but behind my back they are negative.
There is nothing anyone can say about me behind my back that will make me feel bad. If you don't like my top surgery so what at least I had surgery that is what was important to me! If you think I am stupid for getting a meta so what?!! If you want to have a say in the matter then pay for it! If you aren't gonna pay then shut the hell up!
I'm learning who my real friends are and connecting one on one with guys who I would like to develop healthy friendships with.
I also find myself building stronger bonds with guys online through my lower surgery journey. I feel like talking to guys who "get it" is awesome. My friends who don't want lower surgery still support me are cool BUT they don't get it so somethings I would want to discuss with them would be out of place I feel.
I really am starting to see who my real friends are. I am also trying to get out of the habit of considering everyone friends just cause we talk or know the same people. I am getting comfortable with calling people my associate or a cool guy I know. There is nothing wrong with that I feel it's real. Some associates have now become friends and some friends have become associates that is part of life.
The thing that does bother me is when people pretend to be my friend or like me to my face (which is usually associated with them trying to get a favor out of me) but behind my back they are negative.
There is nothing anyone can say about me behind my back that will make me feel bad. If you don't like my top surgery so what at least I had surgery that is what was important to me! If you think I am stupid for getting a meta so what?!! If you want to have a say in the matter then pay for it! If you aren't gonna pay then shut the hell up!
I'm learning who my real friends are and connecting one on one with guys who I would like to develop healthy friendships with.
Friday, June 25, 2010
I told my brothers
After blogging up a storm and posting up a storm online last night I decided to mention to my brothers that I was having surgery and let it go from there. I have 2 brothers. The older of the 2 is really conservative and a church Deacon (I will refer to him as BB for Bigger Brother). The other is more laid back and down to earth(Who I refer to as BH= Bighead as I so affectionately call him).
I sent BB a text (We communicate better via text) asking him about some family stuff coming up and to see when he might be free to talk. He told me that the times that I was going to try and see him he will be out of the country for a mission trip. I told him I wanted to try and talk to him face to face. It didn't seem like it was going to happen so I just let him know I'm having surgery in a few weeks. He asked if everything was okay since I did have a liver scare back in December (which turned out to be nothing). I told him that I was having "THE surgery". I used those words because I knew he would get the picture. He replied by saying that he though I already had it. When I was having top surgery I just told him I was having a transition related surgery and left it at that. I know discussing this stuff makes him feel awkward so I didn't tell him what so I understand the confusion since he knows nothing about transition related surgeries and would never look it up. Also since I had top surgery he knows someone saw me at a urinal so I guess he assumed I already had genital surgery for that reason as well. I explained to him that there are multiple surgery related to the "medical process" and he said ok. I didn't want to give him too much info but wanted him to feel in the loop. I also know he would respect the fact that I am telling him as opposed to him hearing through the grapevine (MY MOTHER!) He did appreciate that. I told him if I he had any questions I am open to answering them and if he didn't want to discuss it any more that was fine too but I wanted to leave the opportunity for communication open. He said that he appreciated that and might have a few minor questions but nothing too much because all of this is awkward for him. BB has been great at referring to me as his brother and using male pronouns when we are around other people. He also consistantly uses my name and even wished me a Happy Father's Day. I know it is hard for him at times due to his faith and feeling conflicted but I know he loves me enough to accept me for me which I appreciate.
I sent BH a text basically saying that I wanted him to know that I was having surgery in August. He also immediately thought it was related to the previously mentioned health scare. I told him know I am just getting "The big surgery". I used this term because when I told him I was medically transitioning he asked if I was gonna get "the big surgery". At that time I told him I will let him know what is going on as it becomes relevant.
Today while we were texting he asked if I was sure I want to do that. I told him yes I am very sure and I waited this long to make sure I made the right decision for me. He said that as long as I am sure that's what I want to do and I'm happy then I have his blessing. I wasn't really seeking his blessing but it is nice that he gave it anyway. I asked him if he had any questions to let me know. He said he has enough info so he doesn't have any questions and we are good! (He love bloody horror movies but medical bloody stuff and needles freak him out so he doesnt like discussing any type of surgery which I understand). He just wants me to let him know when I go and make sure he gets a text or call to let him know everything is okay when I get out.
I was so nervous about how to approach telling them and what the outcome would be. I am glad that I finally got that out of the way. If either of them does come with questions I will probably blog about that conversation in case it might help other guys. The countdown continues!
I sent BB a text (We communicate better via text) asking him about some family stuff coming up and to see when he might be free to talk. He told me that the times that I was going to try and see him he will be out of the country for a mission trip. I told him I wanted to try and talk to him face to face. It didn't seem like it was going to happen so I just let him know I'm having surgery in a few weeks. He asked if everything was okay since I did have a liver scare back in December (which turned out to be nothing). I told him that I was having "THE surgery". I used those words because I knew he would get the picture. He replied by saying that he though I already had it. When I was having top surgery I just told him I was having a transition related surgery and left it at that. I know discussing this stuff makes him feel awkward so I didn't tell him what so I understand the confusion since he knows nothing about transition related surgeries and would never look it up. Also since I had top surgery he knows someone saw me at a urinal so I guess he assumed I already had genital surgery for that reason as well. I explained to him that there are multiple surgery related to the "medical process" and he said ok. I didn't want to give him too much info but wanted him to feel in the loop. I also know he would respect the fact that I am telling him as opposed to him hearing through the grapevine (MY MOTHER!) He did appreciate that. I told him if I he had any questions I am open to answering them and if he didn't want to discuss it any more that was fine too but I wanted to leave the opportunity for communication open. He said that he appreciated that and might have a few minor questions but nothing too much because all of this is awkward for him. BB has been great at referring to me as his brother and using male pronouns when we are around other people. He also consistantly uses my name and even wished me a Happy Father's Day. I know it is hard for him at times due to his faith and feeling conflicted but I know he loves me enough to accept me for me which I appreciate.
I sent BH a text basically saying that I wanted him to know that I was having surgery in August. He also immediately thought it was related to the previously mentioned health scare. I told him know I am just getting "The big surgery". I used this term because when I told him I was medically transitioning he asked if I was gonna get "the big surgery". At that time I told him I will let him know what is going on as it becomes relevant.
Today while we were texting he asked if I was sure I want to do that. I told him yes I am very sure and I waited this long to make sure I made the right decision for me. He said that as long as I am sure that's what I want to do and I'm happy then I have his blessing. I wasn't really seeking his blessing but it is nice that he gave it anyway. I asked him if he had any questions to let me know. He said he has enough info so he doesn't have any questions and we are good! (He love bloody horror movies but medical bloody stuff and needles freak him out so he doesnt like discussing any type of surgery which I understand). He just wants me to let him know when I go and make sure he gets a text or call to let him know everything is okay when I get out.
I was so nervous about how to approach telling them and what the outcome would be. I am glad that I finally got that out of the way. If either of them does come with questions I will probably blog about that conversation in case it might help other guys. The countdown continues!
To show or not to show?
I still HAVE NOT decided on whether or not I will share pictures of my lower surgery.
I am a very shy (it's true!) and personal person but I feel as a man of color who hasn't seen that many results from other men of color it might be beneficial to other guys.
If I do share pictures I don't know whether or not I will post them anonymously to transbucket, or lower surgery surgical groups.
If I decide to share but not via online will I have a picture of my lower surgery and share that at conference show and tells only? That way I have 100% control of who sees my genitals without having to drop my pants in a room of guys. (I know a guy who did this at a conference and I thought it was a great idea).
Decisions, decisions!
I am a very shy (it's true!) and personal person but I feel as a man of color who hasn't seen that many results from other men of color it might be beneficial to other guys.
If I do share pictures I don't know whether or not I will post them anonymously to transbucket, or lower surgery surgical groups.
If I decide to share but not via online will I have a picture of my lower surgery and share that at conference show and tells only? That way I have 100% control of who sees my genitals without having to drop my pants in a room of guys. (I know a guy who did this at a conference and I thought it was a great idea).
Decisions, decisions!
Thursday, June 24, 2010
When will it feel real?
For some reason in my mind. I feel like surgery isn't happening. Don't get me wrong I have the letter from insurance. Paperwork signed by my supervisor approving my leave. I only have one paper to hand in to HR still before I leave for surgery. I have my hotel and airline picked out just need to purchase tickets and make hotel reservations. I'm waiting just to be on the safe side since the best deals are "NON-refundable".
In my mind I know surgery is happening but my heart doesn't believe it. I don't think it will be real until I wake up from surgery! Which is interesting. It is just that I wanted this so badly and kind of tried to talk myself into not wanting surgery due to the horror stories I heard. Then I realized that it WASN'T that I wanted surgery but I NEEDED surgery. Now as the thing that seemed like a dream becomes reality I feel like I am in a dream still and it isn't real.
As I approach my surgery date some people try to talk me out of surgery which is interesting because the ones trying to talk me out of it are transitioning/ transitioned men themselves. They are concerned that I am "messing with a good thing" and will "damage" my penis and "regret it". My mom who is really conservative and said she was never going to speak to me again when I started medically transitioning, is now my biggest cheerleader and wants to come with me for surgery. My friend who is a cis woman is happy for me. I only told her because she got really scared that I was having surgery and she figured it was either that or a liver transplant (long unrelated story). We are really close Our friendship began the day I started T so she has really seen me change and grow. I felt comfortable sharing this with her though I have not told my biological brothers yet (who have been great with regards to my transition.)
The forementioned women are behind me but guys who I thought would support me aren't. Some are being negative about the whole thing but they don't need lower surgery and I do! I am happy though that the guys I trust the most and are my support system are really behind me and that is all that matters. Even though if no one supported me I would still be fine and move forward. I will admit that it is nice to have people who are supportive and there for me. With all that said I continue to plan and prep.
I don't know when it will feel real but I sure am happy!
In my mind I know surgery is happening but my heart doesn't believe it. I don't think it will be real until I wake up from surgery! Which is interesting. It is just that I wanted this so badly and kind of tried to talk myself into not wanting surgery due to the horror stories I heard. Then I realized that it WASN'T that I wanted surgery but I NEEDED surgery. Now as the thing that seemed like a dream becomes reality I feel like I am in a dream still and it isn't real.
As I approach my surgery date some people try to talk me out of surgery which is interesting because the ones trying to talk me out of it are transitioning/ transitioned men themselves. They are concerned that I am "messing with a good thing" and will "damage" my penis and "regret it". My mom who is really conservative and said she was never going to speak to me again when I started medically transitioning, is now my biggest cheerleader and wants to come with me for surgery. My friend who is a cis woman is happy for me. I only told her because she got really scared that I was having surgery and she figured it was either that or a liver transplant (long unrelated story). We are really close Our friendship began the day I started T so she has really seen me change and grow. I felt comfortable sharing this with her though I have not told my biological brothers yet (who have been great with regards to my transition.)
The forementioned women are behind me but guys who I thought would support me aren't. Some are being negative about the whole thing but they don't need lower surgery and I do! I am happy though that the guys I trust the most and are my support system are really behind me and that is all that matters. Even though if no one supported me I would still be fine and move forward. I will admit that it is nice to have people who are supportive and there for me. With all that said I continue to plan and prep.
I don't know when it will feel real but I sure am happy!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Beautiful Weekend
I had a great weekend. Got to meet a guy in real life I have been talking to for years online. I was so happy to see him because he has become such a good buddy I feel and also since he was in town for top surgery. Another guy I know was in town for top surgery so I hit the hospital up for a 2 for 1!
I had a good day out with the guys playing football, soccer and boxing. I worked up a good sweat with the boxing. Boxing headgear, gloves and 85+ in a park right under the hot sun is not something I would recommend! Fun but tiring.
Then Sunday was Fathers Day! My wife gave me the first part of my give around 1AM which was a bag of little things she knew I would love. Later in the day she took me to one of my favorite seafood Restaurants. I love her for that. She isnt really into seafood like that but she really went out of her way to get reservations and make sure I had a great day which I did.
I truely feel like a lucky man!
I had a good day out with the guys playing football, soccer and boxing. I worked up a good sweat with the boxing. Boxing headgear, gloves and 85+ in a park right under the hot sun is not something I would recommend! Fun but tiring.
Then Sunday was Fathers Day! My wife gave me the first part of my give around 1AM which was a bag of little things she knew I would love. Later in the day she took me to one of my favorite seafood Restaurants. I love her for that. She isnt really into seafood like that but she really went out of her way to get reservations and make sure I had a great day which I did.
I truely feel like a lucky man!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Getting into shape for surgery
This is my official proclamation that I will lose 10 lbs by surgery! I want to lose 15lbs total but I feel with the amount of time I have 10lbs is doable and will put my body right where I want it to be. I will be in the park with my guys tomorrow so I will definitely be sweating, running and burning some serious calories. I have already made adjustments to my diet now I just need to keep myself active to take the progress to the next level.
I also feel by reducing my overall body fat that will help reduce the size of my stomach and my mons fat to help with the aesthetics of my upcoming lower surgery.
I also feel by reducing my overall body fat that will help reduce the size of my stomach and my mons fat to help with the aesthetics of my upcoming lower surgery.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Should I be doing something?
I feel like I should be doing something. My meta is a few weeks away. I will admit I am not pumping. I have a little too much dysphoria and distraction lately to do so but I guess I should since it will make me feel like I am "preparing". I guys I should be working out also. I am 4lbs heavier than my personal preferred "max weight" which isnt a lot but with surgery coming up I want to be in a healthy BMI for the best results possible. I guess thinking of all of this means I really do have some things to do to prepare for surgery.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Moving right along!
I went to see my medical Doctor yesterday to get on my medical clearance stuff. Due to my medical history I am required to get an EKG. I decided to do it sooner rather than later so that if it looked funny (which mine sometimes do even when there is nothing wrong but that is my "baseline") I would have time to get cleared by my cardiologist if needed.
So I went in and showed my Doc the letter from insurance agreeing to pay for surgery she was so happy for me. She has known me since I was a child and actually used to work at the same medical facility as my mother so she has seen me in both my developmental stages as a human being and through my transition. Most of her other patients dont want lower surgery so this is all new territory to her and she was open to learning so we discussed where I am at in my process, what procedure I am having and might need in the future. We also discussed how she as my primary MD would fit into that with annual screenings and any other necessary care. It was a really nice talk we had. She wasn't even seeing patients yesterday but because it was me she decided to make and exception so that I could get things in sooner especially since between filling out camp forms and other summer medical stuff she is really busy (she does family medicine).
I did my EKG which was one of the best she has seen from me it was perfect so no need for me to see the Cardiologist. She reviewed my transition history so that she could include that in my clearance letter which was important because if I am under a certain amount of years in my transition I would need 2 mental health letters as opposed to one letter. I only have one letter and fortunately enough based on MY situation my history seems strong enough to my surgeon and insurance to not warrant a second letter confirming the need for me to have this surgery and my readiness.
My Doc had a meeting to get to but agreed to write my letter and get it to me ASAP. She did give me a copy of my EKG to fax to the surgeon because worse case scenario if the letter doesnt get done or Murphy's law kicks in as long as my surgeon has the clean EKG and her contact info we will be able to get me in the OR without issue.
I am so happy that things are coming together. It still doesn't feel real just yet but I am still excited!
So I went in and showed my Doc the letter from insurance agreeing to pay for surgery she was so happy for me. She has known me since I was a child and actually used to work at the same medical facility as my mother so she has seen me in both my developmental stages as a human being and through my transition. Most of her other patients dont want lower surgery so this is all new territory to her and she was open to learning so we discussed where I am at in my process, what procedure I am having and might need in the future. We also discussed how she as my primary MD would fit into that with annual screenings and any other necessary care. It was a really nice talk we had. She wasn't even seeing patients yesterday but because it was me she decided to make and exception so that I could get things in sooner especially since between filling out camp forms and other summer medical stuff she is really busy (she does family medicine).
I did my EKG which was one of the best she has seen from me it was perfect so no need for me to see the Cardiologist. She reviewed my transition history so that she could include that in my clearance letter which was important because if I am under a certain amount of years in my transition I would need 2 mental health letters as opposed to one letter. I only have one letter and fortunately enough based on MY situation my history seems strong enough to my surgeon and insurance to not warrant a second letter confirming the need for me to have this surgery and my readiness.
My Doc had a meeting to get to but agreed to write my letter and get it to me ASAP. She did give me a copy of my EKG to fax to the surgeon because worse case scenario if the letter doesnt get done or Murphy's law kicks in as long as my surgeon has the clean EKG and her contact info we will be able to get me in the OR without issue.
I am so happy that things are coming together. It still doesn't feel real just yet but I am still excited!
Monday, June 14, 2010
The opposite of Junk mail is....
What I have in my hands! It's PRICELESS! I just got the letter from my insurance stating that "based on the information received from your treating health care professional(s), _______ has determine that service(s)/care that you requested below on ________ is medically necessary."
It then goes on to say that to keep all parties informed they have notified my surgeon and the big name insurance of the decision.
Then after some more blah, blah, blah it says,
"Upon Recosideration, information justifies acute care admission for your genital/urological surgery for post-operative care."
So basically I am approved to have surgery AND approved to stay in the hospital post op since in the initial letter I got from these crazy people they basically said " We will approve surgery but you dont need to stay in the hospital post op."
It has the surgeon's name, my name, my insurance companies name, the hospital name where I am having surgery and then Tentative date.
This letter is MONEY! *Does happy dance*
It then goes on to say that to keep all parties informed they have notified my surgeon and the big name insurance of the decision.
Then after some more blah, blah, blah it says,
"Upon Recosideration, information justifies acute care admission for your genital/urological surgery for post-operative care."
So basically I am approved to have surgery AND approved to stay in the hospital post op since in the initial letter I got from these crazy people they basically said " We will approve surgery but you dont need to stay in the hospital post op."
It has the surgeon's name, my name, my insurance companies name, the hospital name where I am having surgery and then Tentative date.
This letter is MONEY! *Does happy dance*
Progress- Goal reevaluation June 13th, 2010
I posted this in a journal ealier this year. I decided to repost it showing appropriate corrections. I am soooo happy I have achieved so much so far for 2010.
January 19th, 2010- My wife and I got to meet our daughter.
January 22nd, 2010- Our Daughter came to my wife and I.
February 1st, 2010- Hysto Consult (Surgeon agreed to do my hysto I just need full clearance since I was in the hospital for 2 weeks back in December ).
February 7-9th, 2010- Contacted Several bottom surgeons to get most recent price Quotes and SERIOUS discuss surgical planning
February 16th,2010- Submitted insurance request with one surgeon for a meta
Febrarury 26th,2010- (PENDING) Followed up with specialist regarding me being sick back in December, 2009 and hopefully get got clearance for hysto and bottom surgery.
March 8th, 2020(PENDING)- Followed up with GYN re my hysto and set a solid surgical date (contingent upon me getting clearance on February 26th, 2010) Date set for April 6th, 2010.
March 16th, 2010(PENDING)- Wanted to have an answer from bottom surgeon whether I got prior Authorization from insurance for my metoidioplasty.
*Update- Answer as not received by this date things were still pending
Between March 16th,2010 and April 30th,2010 (PENDING)- Get my Hysto
April 6th,2010- Got my Hysto. *Happy dance*
April 7th,2010- Heard back from Surgeon's office regarding prior Authorization more info needed.
Between August 2010 and December 31st (PENDING)- Get my meta (if insurance covers it I will do it closer to August. If not then closer to December).
Insurance Decided to pay so I will be getting my meta in August 2010! *Another happy dance!*
I'm getting there slowly but surely! I am so happy I have one more goal on my list that I wanted to acheive!
With all of that out of the way I need some new goals
Some ideas are:
-Get a Driver's License (I live in a big city with good public transportation there was no need to drive)
-Save more for a house
-Complete my MBA program
-Build my organization more and take it to the "next" level
January 19th, 2010- My wife and I got to meet our daughter.
January 22nd, 2010- Our Daughter came to my wife and I.
February 1st, 2010- Hysto Consult (Surgeon agreed to do my hysto I just need full clearance since I was in the hospital for 2 weeks back in December ).
February 7-9th, 2010- Contacted Several bottom surgeons to get most recent price Quotes and SERIOUS discuss surgical planning
February 16th,2010- Submitted insurance request with one surgeon for a meta
Febrarury 26th,2010- (
March 8th, 2020
March 16th, 2010
*Update- Answer as not received by this date things were still pending
April 6th,2010- Got my Hysto. *Happy dance*
April 7th,2010- Heard back from Surgeon's office regarding prior Authorization more info needed.
Insurance Decided to pay so I will be getting my meta in August 2010! *Another happy dance!*
I'm getting there slowly but surely! I am so happy I have one more goal on my list that I wanted to acheive!
With all of that out of the way I need some new goals
Some ideas are:
-Get a Driver's License (I live in a big city with good public transportation there was no need to drive)
-Save more for a house
-Complete my MBA program
-Build my organization more and take it to the "next" level
Friday, June 11, 2010
Logistics of surgery
I am still on cloud 9 after getting surgery approved and officially having a surgery date!
HOWEVER I still need to work out the logistics like booking a hotel, booking a flight. Getting my medical leave forms in so I get PAID while I'm out. I also need to figure out how much time I am going to even have to be out for.
Time to get that paperwork done!
HOWEVER I still need to work out the logistics like booking a hotel, booking a flight. Getting my medical leave forms in so I get PAID while I'm out. I also need to figure out how much time I am going to even have to be out for.
Time to get that paperwork done!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Im so happy I can cry!- June 8th, 2010
After much calling, praying, more praying and more calling I got THE call today. Stating that the surgeons office got the letter stating that I will be able to get surgery and wont have to pay $11,000 up front. The surgery is in a few weeks and I only need $2000 to be set. I am SOOOO happy I could cry.
Thanks to all the guys (and gals) who kept me in their prayers, sent good vibes and wished me well. I plan to pay it forward when I am done.
Thanks to all the guys (and gals) who kept me in their prayers, sent good vibes and wished me well. I plan to pay it forward when I am done.
One step closer to lower surger- June 6th update
A few days ago I posted here about my journey so far with insurance and getting lower surgery covered.
Well my latest update is really AWESOME. While I was at the Philly Conference I got a call from the Surgeon's insurance person saying that I may not have to pay as much as I originally thought. She is waiting to talk to some people then will get back to me.
Fastward to today.
I spoke to the woman from the Surgeon's office and she stated that the Surgeon and the Hospital is covered by a Small ass insurance and they have contracts with BIG NAME INSURANCES and one of the BIG NAME INSURANCE companies has a contract with my WHACK ASS INSURANCE. After calling around and speaking to some folks she was able to verify that under this random chain of contracts that the surgeon is In Network with my WHACK ASS INSURANCE. This means that I will only have to pay the co-pays and/or deductibles which last I checked for my insurance are $0 which is right in my price range!
Today the woman from the claims department for my insurance also called (The one I made nice with) and stated that the matter was being resolved and someone should call me soon. The person who was supposed to call me called about and hour later stating the same thing about "How the surgeon is used to working with Small ass insurance and they have contracts with BIG NAME INSURANCES and one of the BIG NAME INSURANCE companies has a contract with my WHACK ASS INSURANCE." She stated that they contacted Small ass insurance who should be contacting the surgeon's office to give the exact rates that BIG NAME INSURANCE uses which will be what my WHACK ASS INSURANCE will honor.
I had a date for sooner and one for later in mind. I officially took the later date while waiting for this matter to be resolved but now that things seems to be a go I plan to utilize the sooner date which means I need to start pumping to prepare for my surgery which may be in the next 2-3 months!
After all is said and done I plan to share more details regarding the surgeon and the insurance companies. While going through this I feel more comfortable not posting all the details on the net about the companies just yet.
I am doing the biggest happy dance EVER!
Cris
Well my latest update is really AWESOME. While I was at the Philly Conference I got a call from the Surgeon's insurance person saying that I may not have to pay as much as I originally thought. She is waiting to talk to some people then will get back to me.
Fastward to today.
I spoke to the woman from the Surgeon's office and she stated that the Surgeon and the Hospital is covered by a Small ass insurance and they have contracts with BIG NAME INSURANCES and one of the BIG NAME INSURANCE companies has a contract with my WHACK ASS INSURANCE. After calling around and speaking to some folks she was able to verify that under this random chain of contracts that the surgeon is In Network with my WHACK ASS INSURANCE. This means that I will only have to pay the co-pays and/or deductibles which last I checked for my insurance are $0 which is right in my price range!
Today the woman from the claims department for my insurance also called (The one I made nice with) and stated that the matter was being resolved and someone should call me soon. The person who was supposed to call me called about and hour later stating the same thing about "How the surgeon is used to working with Small ass insurance and they have contracts with BIG NAME INSURANCES and one of the BIG NAME INSURANCE companies has a contract with my WHACK ASS INSURANCE." She stated that they contacted Small ass insurance who should be contacting the surgeon's office to give the exact rates that BIG NAME INSURANCE uses which will be what my WHACK ASS INSURANCE will honor.
I had a date for sooner and one for later in mind. I officially took the later date while waiting for this matter to be resolved but now that things seems to be a go I plan to utilize the sooner date which means I need to start pumping to prepare for my surgery which may be in the next 2-3 months!
After all is said and done I plan to share more details regarding the surgeon and the insurance companies. While going through this I feel more comfortable not posting all the details on the net about the companies just yet.
I am doing the biggest happy dance EVER!
Cris
Philadelphia Trans Health conference- My feelings
It was AWESOME!
I got to meet people I have been talking to online for years! I also got to catch up with some friends and acquantances.
The workshops I attended were awesome. I am proud of the turn out for the workshops I did.
I officially am planning to do a lower surgery show and tell next year and plan to start drumming up guys willing to participate from NOW. I plan to be able to have something to "SHOW" by then. ( I will talk about that in another blog).
I realized how much I impact peoples lives. I met several guys for the first time who I have helped via the net. One guy got emotional which made me get emotional but I held back my need to get teary eyed due to there being over 1000 random people walking around (and probably because T makes it almost impossible for me to cry anyway!)
I am excited that the "To Be stealth or not to be stealth" workshop had a HUGE turn out. By huge I mean over 94 people were in ONE ROOM! It was crazy and beautiful at the same time.
The "Finding affordable ways to transition" workshop also had a good turnout despite being put at 8:30AM.
I left feeling like it was the best PTHC I have ever been too. This weekend did give me a sense of "community" and I think that had to do with the people that were there.
I got to meet people I have been talking to online for years! I also got to catch up with some friends and acquantances.
The workshops I attended were awesome. I am proud of the turn out for the workshops I did.
I officially am planning to do a lower surgery show and tell next year and plan to start drumming up guys willing to participate from NOW. I plan to be able to have something to "SHOW" by then. ( I will talk about that in another blog).
I realized how much I impact peoples lives. I met several guys for the first time who I have helped via the net. One guy got emotional which made me get emotional but I held back my need to get teary eyed due to there being over 1000 random people walking around (and probably because T makes it almost impossible for me to cry anyway!)
I am excited that the "To Be stealth or not to be stealth" workshop had a HUGE turn out. By huge I mean over 94 people were in ONE ROOM! It was crazy and beautiful at the same time.
The "Finding affordable ways to transition" workshop also had a good turnout despite being put at 8:30AM.
I left feeling like it was the best PTHC I have ever been too. This weekend did give me a sense of "community" and I think that had to do with the people that were there.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Lower surgery Update- June 1st,2010 and some other stuff.
Well today was a BIG day! I got my surgery date! *Does happy dance!* Only thing is that it was bitter sweet because the surgeon's assistant was willing to give me a surgery date that was closer which is what I really wanted. It would have worked out to be a date either within 2 days of my B-day or a week after my B-day. Unfortunately since I am still waiting for the insurance payment stuff to be figured out I decided to be safe and schedule for early 2011 (No, I am not telling the date yet!)
I did look into possibly getting a medical loan but that is not a feasable option for me right now but who knows I may explore it if other things don't work out.
Since the surgeon's already explicitly told me that they would adjust how much I have to pay based on what my insurance agrees to pay as the rate. I am even more committed to getting this rate in writing and to my surgeon's office.
My insurance isnt BIG NAME INSURANCE BUT when I am outside of my area It rolls over to BIG NAME INSURANCE in a way so I use BIG NAME INSURANCE providers (which this surgeon is) AND my insurance pays the BIG NAME INSURANCE rate. Since my insurance isnt directly BIG NAME INSURANCE that is what makes getting the rate trickier because usually when someone uses an BIG NAME INSURANCE provider they just pay the BIG NAME INSURANCE rate after the fact and if they don't know the rate they ask at that time.
Lucky for me I made nice with the Associate Director of Claims when I was waiting for my prior Authorization a few weeks back and I called her to ask how I go about resolving this matter. I explained that I need the rates or I have to pay upfront. She was upset not with me but at the fact that the rate was holding things up. She sent an email to whoever manages the linkage agreement between my primary insurance and BIG NAME INSURANCE.
I was told that they will make sure to get those rates to either me or my surgeon. If that happens then I will be good to go!
Since surgery is really in the works and almost set I decided to have a conversation with my Mother about this. My Mother in the beginning of my transition process was very Anti- medical transition. Since top surgery she has made a lot of progress but I wasn't sure if this would be too much for her. I called her and told her that I am planning surgery for my "basement" (My Grandmother's term for genital region). My Mother was very calm and mellow. She asked a few questions. She was timid at first then said that since we were at a good place in our relationship she didn't want to ask me anything to make me feel uncomfortable. She is in the medical feild so I explained it to her in medical terms and that made it easier for her. I told her ask anything that she wants and if it is "too much" I will let her know. She asked a few more questions about "function" and she was actually surprised that I wasn't getting a Phalloplasty (Once I explained to her the difference between a phallo and a meta). I did leave the door open to let her know that I am getting a meta for now BUT if for some reason I do not feel complete AND/or technology changes I can still get the Phallo in the future. She basically said, "It's good to leave your options open and you are young too!"
I went into the conversation feeling nervous not knowing what she would say or if she would try and talk me out of it. That was not the case. She wanted to get info on the surgery that I was getting, the surgeon I chose (probably so she could check credentials. That is something my Mother would do), She even asked if I would need anything. I dont want to ask her for the money because I want to be an adult about this BUT if things are getting close I am open to seeing if she will co-sign a loan if needed.
I did invite her to come. I thought she would be nervous or not want to but she was excited and honored that I would want her to be part of such a huge thing. She is already "planning" to take Family Medical Leave and help out where needed.
I am excited too. Today was a GREAT day!
I did look into possibly getting a medical loan but that is not a feasable option for me right now but who knows I may explore it if other things don't work out.
Since the surgeon's already explicitly told me that they would adjust how much I have to pay based on what my insurance agrees to pay as the rate. I am even more committed to getting this rate in writing and to my surgeon's office.
My insurance isnt BIG NAME INSURANCE BUT when I am outside of my area It rolls over to BIG NAME INSURANCE in a way so I use BIG NAME INSURANCE providers (which this surgeon is) AND my insurance pays the BIG NAME INSURANCE rate. Since my insurance isnt directly BIG NAME INSURANCE that is what makes getting the rate trickier because usually when someone uses an BIG NAME INSURANCE provider they just pay the BIG NAME INSURANCE rate after the fact and if they don't know the rate they ask at that time.
Lucky for me I made nice with the Associate Director of Claims when I was waiting for my prior Authorization a few weeks back and I called her to ask how I go about resolving this matter. I explained that I need the rates or I have to pay upfront. She was upset not with me but at the fact that the rate was holding things up. She sent an email to whoever manages the linkage agreement between my primary insurance and BIG NAME INSURANCE.
I was told that they will make sure to get those rates to either me or my surgeon. If that happens then I will be good to go!
Since surgery is really in the works and almost set I decided to have a conversation with my Mother about this. My Mother in the beginning of my transition process was very Anti- medical transition. Since top surgery she has made a lot of progress but I wasn't sure if this would be too much for her. I called her and told her that I am planning surgery for my "basement" (My Grandmother's term for genital region). My Mother was very calm and mellow. She asked a few questions. She was timid at first then said that since we were at a good place in our relationship she didn't want to ask me anything to make me feel uncomfortable. She is in the medical feild so I explained it to her in medical terms and that made it easier for her. I told her ask anything that she wants and if it is "too much" I will let her know. She asked a few more questions about "function" and she was actually surprised that I wasn't getting a Phalloplasty (Once I explained to her the difference between a phallo and a meta). I did leave the door open to let her know that I am getting a meta for now BUT if for some reason I do not feel complete AND/or technology changes I can still get the Phallo in the future. She basically said, "It's good to leave your options open and you are young too!"
I went into the conversation feeling nervous not knowing what she would say or if she would try and talk me out of it. That was not the case. She wanted to get info on the surgery that I was getting, the surgeon I chose (probably so she could check credentials. That is something my Mother would do), She even asked if I would need anything. I dont want to ask her for the money because I want to be an adult about this BUT if things are getting close I am open to seeing if she will co-sign a loan if needed.
I did invite her to come. I thought she would be nervous or not want to but she was excited and honored that I would want her to be part of such a huge thing. She is already "planning" to take Family Medical Leave and help out where needed.
I am excited too. Today was a GREAT day!
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